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journal entry || amat
Aug. 10th, 2011 10:51 amDear Journal,
It's been a month since Elena left but the pain I feel inside has yet to leave. I'm not sure how much more waiting I can take. Without her I feel empty except that ache. The one that's at the pit of my stomach. I'm worried. I'm scared and I'm lonely.
I've tried all of my usual tricks to get my mind off of things that are troubling me. Drinking doesn't work. Exorcise. nothing. All I think about is Elena and what is going on back in Mystic Falls. If she's okay or if she's.... I know I shouldn't think about that. But I'm not sure how much more of this island I can take.
Even with Bonnie and Rose here, I feel like I'm on my own. They're nice to have but it's not the same. How could it be?
I let Elena slip through my fingers twice. I can pretend that I'm okay but I'm not sure how much more pretending I can do before I finally break. Even as I'm writing this down I'm fighting to keep my tears back. Fighting to keep that lump in my throat down. This is no way to live. This isn't how she would have wanted me to be.
I still haven't read her diary. I don't know if I want to. It would let me know how she dealt with this, without me. But I can't bring myself to peer into her inner most thoughts.
Maybe I should just break down. Let it all out. But then what? What is the use of crying? She won't come back. I'm don't know if I want her back. I do but I'm not sure if it's better for her here or back home.
Why would I want her here? I don't know what I want at this point.
- Stefan Salvatore.
It's been a month since Elena left but the pain I feel inside has yet to leave. I'm not sure how much more waiting I can take. Without her I feel empty except that ache. The one that's at the pit of my stomach. I'm worried. I'm scared and I'm lonely.
I've tried all of my usual tricks to get my mind off of things that are troubling me. Drinking doesn't work. Exorcise. nothing. All I think about is Elena and what is going on back in Mystic Falls. If she's okay or if she's.... I know I shouldn't think about that. But I'm not sure how much more of this island I can take.
Even with Bonnie and Rose here, I feel like I'm on my own. They're nice to have but it's not the same. How could it be?
I let Elena slip through my fingers twice. I can pretend that I'm okay but I'm not sure how much more pretending I can do before I finally break. Even as I'm writing this down I'm fighting to keep my tears back. Fighting to keep that lump in my throat down. This is no way to live. This isn't how she would have wanted me to be.
I still haven't read her diary. I don't know if I want to. It would let me know how she dealt with this, without me. But I can't bring myself to peer into her inner most thoughts.
Maybe I should just break down. Let it all out. But then what? What is the use of crying? She won't come back. I'm don't know if I want her back. I do but I'm not sure if it's better for her here or back home.
Why would I want her here? I don't know what I want at this point.
- Stefan Salvatore.
